academic failure.

in some ways, not doing as well as i wanted to do in my undergraduate degree has been slightly beneficial. at first, i was crushed. and i had no idea how i was going to deal with it. a couple of days later, i came to realise that this could be a good thing. i felt a real sense of freedom - i wasn't tied down to doing anything out of necessity - my next step has to be what i choose, and it's made me more determined. i actually have to try, and i am so motivated to do well, i now have something to prove again.